So let me tell you what I’ve been up to this weekend.

My computer guy had told me the grinding in the tower of my 2002 Dell (it was a retirement gift to myself from myself back then) was comparable to the grindings one tends to hear in knees and other joints when you get to a certain age.  He also suggested to me the remedy was the same.  Get some new joints and the crackling and popping would go away immediately.  Everything would run faster, smoother and quieter.  At this point I had to be reassured he was still talking about the computer.  He was and said he could sell me one, order it, install it, set it up and have it operating within two hours after its arrival. 

On the advice of my son, Langdon, who knows more about most things than I do, I agreed to all the above provisions and the order was placed and anxiously awaited.

It arrived yesterday morning.  An early phone call assured me he could come to my home at 3pm, tear down the old one and have the new one running in two (2) hours.  Having not arrived in the big city on the last turnip truck available, I was dubious of his promise but could see no other alternative but to allow him the opportunity to make good his offer.

Three o’clock came and the mission began.  Four- thirty arrived and I found myself pacing and watching the clock, ready to pounce on the that  new, shiny 24 inch screen machine and begin whatever new learning curve it required.  By five-thirty dinnertime was beginning to pass and there was still much knocking and beeping coming from my upstairs office.  By six-thirty Debbie was asking if we should offer the man something to eat.  I said, “No.  It’ll just take up more time.  Maybe if he’s hungry he’ll speed up a little bit.”

The two-hour promise was well out the door and so was my trusty and loyal tech guy at eight-thirty.  After four and one-half hours I was now alone at my slick, spanking new keyboard. I hit all the right buttons and clicked on all the right icons and suddenly realized that nothing, and I mean nothing, was in the right place.  Every screen that came up was a stranger to me.  It was like eating soup off a plate.  Like walking into someone else’s family reunion.  Like kissing a princess and she turns into a frogess.

I couldn’t send email; couldn’t receive any.  Couldn’t find my pictures.  Couldn’t find the volume button or the spellcheck.  Didn’t know how to re-set the margins.  The fonts were different and things kept flying across the screen and I had no idea where they came from or where they were going to land.  I didn’t have the heart to call the hardworking tech guy so late on a Friday night, so I left it and read a book in hopes that by morning it may have healed itself.  Of course, it didn’t and Langdon came to the rescue and spent another two hours on the phone with him Saturday morning.  But I’m happy and tired to say all is well now.

 I have a new, quiet, wide-screen monster setting on the desk where the old fellow sat.  He’s newer and glossier and knows more tricks and runs much faster, just as promised.  I’m getting to know him slowly and, I’m sure, will get to like him just as much.  I haven’t learned to relax around him yet and still don’t feel completely comfortable in his presence, but I think in time we’ll get to be friends.  We’ve made up a little here this evening- came to an understanding you might say.  He’s promised not to show me too many new things he can do too quickly and I’ve promised not to throw him out of a second-story window.

I think it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

                    DR

                      Saturday, March 26, 2011 – 8:15pm

     The bane of retirement is contentment.

     Who said that? you may ask.  An ancient Greek philosopher?  An old world sage?  No, just an old hillbilly song and book writer who is speaking from experience.  Let me put it another way; the more I enjoy this retirement the less I want to do.  And that’s why so many of you have emailed me and said, “Why haven’t you been blogging lately?  It’s been months since you wrote anything in the ‘What’s On My Mind’ column.  My son, Langdon, has even gotten in on it.  He calls and emails me quite often with, “You haven’t written a blog recently.  You need to do that.”  And he and you are right.  There’s always plenty to say; I just need to take the time to say it.  And even though I answer all the personal emails, I want to share with you a few of the most asked questions I get each day.

    The #3 most asked question:  Are you writing a new book?

Oh, yeah.  It’s finished and at the publisher and waiting for a release schedule.  Right now the tentative date is January 12, 2012.  With books, as with albums, you never want to promise a particular date too far in advance as so many things can change; and the final decision is always the publisher’s.  I’ll keep the website updated as I get more concrete information.

     The #2 most asked question: Will the Statler Brothers tv show ever be released on dvd?

 We hope so.  The decision is only one half ours due to the legalities and owership of the shows.  Our attorney has been working on this for a long time and we feel we’re close to a possible agreement.  No one would like to see them on the market more than the four of us because they were such an important part of our professional and personal lives for seven years.  I don’t think we did anything in our collective career that we were any prouder of than that tv series.   All info will be posted on this site and on the Statler website when something definitely is known.

      The #1 most asked question: Will there ever be a reunion concert or reunion tour?

A wise man once said, “The bane of retirement is contentment.”  And you have three very content old boys in Harold and Phil and myself.  Jimmy is doing good out there and still enjoying what he’s doing; Phil is at the office everyday taking care of the things he wants to take care of; Harold is at home among the surroundings he hated to leave for so many years; and I’m writing without traveling.  Life is good.  We see one another often. 

     Jimmy comes to Staunton or we go to Nashville and we get together.  Harold and Phil and I see one another at church every Sunday morning and make it a point to get together for business and fun from time to time.  Just today, Harold and I had lunch together.  We laughed about some old times, remembered some old friends, and then he stuck me with the bill.

    So we have reunions all the time.  We just don’t sing anymore.  But God bless you for asking.

                                                                            —-DSR                                                                 

                                                      Feb. 28, 2011   – 8:30pm